Two steps forward, one step back.

The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.
Charles Kuralt 

Hello family and friends!  You may be wondering, where are the HKs now?  Transitioning once again! And I didn’t even fill ya’ll in on our arrival in Washington…yeah, that post will be along at some point but for now, this is the one I feel needs to be done. 

We are done with traveling, for now, but that does not mean that we are done moving around.  Once we left Nora and Bend we took a jaunt over to the coast to catch our first glimpses of the Pacific Ocean.  I felt like I did five years ago when traveling with Leah and Adrien.   We were driving towards Charleston, SC and my heart was quite literally yearning to reach that magical city that had made such an impression on me when I was a child.  The morning after we arrived at our campsite in Newport, Oregon, I had the dogs out for a walk.  I had only meant to get them out and about for a moment but then there was this trail that said “beach this way” and I felt that yearning rise up in my chest once again.  I didn’t care that what I was wearing was far from appropriate or that it was misting, chilly and I had an extremely full bladder, I was walking to the beach dammit, and I was going to see the Pacific Ocean that morning. 

I must say, it’s a good thing I’m a determined person.  The walk was much more than I had expected and by the time the actual trail was gone I found myself wandering along the sand dunes until I finally came over a hill and there it was…fog, and crashing waves, the smell of salt, mud, ocean life and ocean death all hit me in the face and I knew that trek had been worth it.  I had managed to sneak off one of the side trails, tie up the dogs, and pee in the woods so I no longer felt a pressing need to do much of anything except enjoy this first meeting with our new coast line.  It was breathtaking.  

The next day, after the campsite was all packed up and we were just about ready to leave, I informed the boys that we must take a walk along the beach.  The day was sunny and bright, quite a change from the day before, although fog still hung out around the edges, resisting the power of sunlight as it created beautiful shapes around the people playing on the beach. 

When I say “beach” I usually think swim suits, sun, HEAT – not here.  People were wearing shorts but for the most part they were paired with sweaters or sweatshirts.  Our family was wearing jeans and I only took my cardigan off after I had run around and played long enough to build up the warmth in my body.  That warmth was quickly a thing of the past as Aydan and I decided to go further and further out into the water.  Stupid.  It was COLD.  But man was it fun. 

We traveled north from Oregon into Washington, camped over one night and then kept heading north.  Andrew had his first Seattle job interview on August 19, a little over two months ago, and we left for Canada that night.  It was a long day for all of us but we knew we had a goal in mind: getting to Leah and Adrien as quickly as we could.

And that’s what we did.  We arrived on Vancouver Island (two hour ferry ride from Port Angeles in Washington to Victoria, BC) around 11:30 and made the drive to Leah and Adrien’s house that night.  The time we spent there is a story all its own and will definitely be shared along with all our other stories sometime soon, I am getting distracted enough from my goal as it is…

A month with Leah and Adrien and then a return to the states that was far from fun for any of us.  I had been SICK.  Really sick for several days, unable to eat or drink or think or anything and we made the decision to get me to an emergency room as quickly as we could once we got back to the US.   All I could think of was how desperately I wanted an IV and Zofran.  Andrew says that the moment the IV started my color changed and I started looking more like myself.  Thank goodness.  It hasn’t been quite a month since that happened and the extreme nausea isn’t with me any longer but I still have strange stomach upsets and my appetite has been quite peculiar.  I can feel as though I’m starving right before dinner and then we sit down to eat dinner and I can eat maybe half of what I’ve served myself and I’m full and nearly sick feeling.   Andrew and Mama Nora have insisted that I seek some medical attention this week and I will mention this to the doctor I speak with.  Maybe they can suggest something…I don’t know.  I did read that the level of nausea I was experiencing can be caused by inflammation of the central nervous system – my thoughts; possibly MS related.  But…if that’s my flare up this year, I’ll take it over losing the use of my arms, and or legs, and or the ability to talk…yeah, I would for sure.

Vashon Island has been our landing space for almost a month.   In that month, and this is really what I wanted to get at, Andrew has done 10 resumes a day looking for a job.  There had been roughly an interview a week for him until this last week – and that’s when it was like the heavens opened up and poured down job opportunities on Andrew.   It was almost as though we were being told not to give up and to keep trying because things were about to break wide open for us and everything was going to be ok…it always is. 

While we have been quite generously allowed to stay on the island, we were also given a time limit.  Three weeks from the first week we arrived, a month total.  And really, that’s totally ok even though it was terrifying to me.  I didn’t know where we would live or where we would settle or what we would do if we didn’t have jobs.  We talked with Nora a lot and she was of course so encouraging.  The main thing we were worried about was putting a stop to the momentum we had started.  But then…

Monday, Andrew does his 10 resumes as usual.  We spent the day up at Café Luna (our coffee shop of choice on the island) – I had a phone interview at noon that I wanted to finish prepping for and one other job lead that I wanted to put the finishing touches on.  The phone interview went amazingly well and I received a call from them asking me to come in for an in person interview the next day.  Andrew had also received news that same day that one of the jobs he had applied for would be interested in doing a phone interview with him the next day. 

Well, then we learned that everything can change in a very short period of time.  Andrew had several interviews this past week and I can’t really go into a lot of detail because he has asked me not to until we know which job he is going to be offered or take.  What I can share is that even if the #1 job that we both want him to have comes through he won’t be able to start for another two weeks.  The big thing became “where do we go from here?”.  We have to be off the island this coming Thursday. 

Enter Mama Nora to the rescue again.  We have made the decision to take a break from busting butt looking for jobs and being more or less cooped up in the camper (which feels smaller every day) to hang with Nora for two weeks or so in Bend.  The drive to Seattle from Bend is roughly five hours, not terrible if we need to do some back and forth-ing which I am going to bet is very likely.   What I think each one of us is looking forward to is the soothing, energizing presence that comes along with being around Nora.  She is an amazing person.  I am still in awe of the amazing family I belong to now.  The love that has come to us from the Matthews and the Kolberg side have been healing and strengthening.  I am thankful that I have the rest of my life to spend getting to know my new family better. 

Bend is an amazing place and I’m looking forward to getting off an island.  I’m pretty much over ferry rides.  The first one was really exciting and fun, and maybe the second and third one but then when you are using the ferry to do things that you need to do and you have a time limit, not so much fun.  And it’s pricey.  The island has most of the things we need but not everything and we aren’t really island people.  Each time we head into Tacoma or Seattle we all kind of sigh in relief at the variety of people and places available to us.  Vashon is a wonderland for the people that want to be here but it’s not the right place for us. 

We spent the day in what will hopefully be our new neighborhood yesterday.  We have been told there is a high sense of community and the schools look great.  The thing that we keep being told is that it’s really “hippified” and Andrew and I keep looking at each other wondering why people think we are “hippies”…any ideas friends?  We did have nothing but pleasant interactions yesterday.  To me, it’s very city…but I guess that’s what I should expect in a city that is home to 650,000 people…right?  I think it will be exciting to get to know this amazing city.  We are definitely looking forward to our exploration opportunities once we are settled.  Waiting again…but we are getting closer and closer to our end goal.  Hang with us! Our travels may be done but our adventures will constantly be ongoing – we can’t seem to avoid it!

PS: I will do a whole post of just pictures soon because I LOVE pictures and love sharing them :) 

Getting caught up!

Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.  Paul Theroux 

Well, maybe, maybe not...haven't decided yet.  The fact that I have fallen this far behind on letting everyone know how we are doing seems a bit thoughtless and self indulgent of me.  We ARE safe and secure and still, more or less, on the move.  Currently the camper is set up in Leah and Adrien's driveway on Vancouver Island - we have reached our "end" destination and are now waiting for little Amalia to make her way out of Leah's womb and into the world for all of us to share in the holding and caring of her.  Our family will head back to the states shortly after Amalia arrives and will be able to stay on Vashon Island while the job hunt for Andrew continues.  In the mean time - I thought I would do a little travel back in time and share some of the photos that haven't been shared yet. So, last time we had left from Arkansas and were on our way to Oklahoma and it wasn't almost my birthday...

What to do, what to do on your 35th birthday in Oklahoma City?  Well, we chose Oklahoma City because it was the closest Lush store and I wanted Lush goodies for my birthday.  Yes, I am that demanding.  And, I didn't want to drive through Kansas.  After searching maps and internet for a fun campsite or SOMETHING appealing in Kansas I came to the conclusion that we were better off skipping this tragically boring state.  Sorry Kansas...Oklahoma City had a Lush AND a COWBOY MUSEUM!!!! Since I couldn't be with my bestie for my birthday I thought I would do something fun that would make me think of her all day.  Megs, I miss you and this would have been an amazing museum for us to go through with the kiddos :)  

Walk into the museum and this giant statue stands at the end of the hallway.  Gorgeous and thought provoking. 

Tried to get a lower angle looking up at the statue...impossible to capture how massive this structure is. 

It's strange to walk through a museum and see things that you have OWNED and USED in the display cases. 

Thoughts of Bird and polaroids :) 

I now pronounce you man and wife...hee hee :) I would marry this man every day of my life over and over again.  

Kissy kissy :)  Thankfully Aydan is comfortable enough seeing his parents kiss all the time that he doesn't mind taking photos of us together. 

Bad Aydan.  Jail for you! 

Hmmmhhh...not the pledge I know but I like it better...

The American Cowboy...fascinating and still very much a presence, although not in the same way. 

Cowgirls!  Did you know that cowgirls didn't start wearing pants until the 1930s even though they had been working in the south west long before that?  

Cowgirl outfit - again, thoughts of Megan - don't you have this outfit somewhere? :) Don't you wish you did? :

Cowboy ukulele!  

Ha ha ha!  Sometimes, me too! 

And then there was the children's dress up section...

where Andrew and Aydan decided to explore their own cowboy style. 

or something...

What up, Abe. 

We did attempt Pho for lunch and spring rolls - thoughts of Baan Mi Barista in the Fort - not as good which was disappointing but you know, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Stayed for two days at Lake Thunderbird in Oklahoma. 

Aydan assisting in our goodbye to the campsite...

Next stop - Texas!  

OK!  So, I will do my best to get us all caught up between stories and photos and real time...but that may never happen.  This was such an amazing summer and I felt the pull to play more than anything else.  Yes, our travels have been "glamorous" in their way - they were also challenging, hot, sweaty, occasionally full of stress and dirt...but isn't that they way life goes?  Our charmed lives are still moving forward, we take the good with the bad and hope always for the best.  

Love to all. 

You say goodbye and I say hello...HELLO HELLO! (From July 2013)

“Traveling is a brutality.  It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends.  You are constantly off balance.  Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” –Cesare Pavese

Instant relate.  Traveling is brutal.  In the last week we have driven from Evansville, Indiana through Illinois, Missouri and into Arkansas where we have stayed for the last three days…I think it was three days.  We are now set up at Lake Thunderbird State Park in Oklahoma, about 30 minutes south of Oklahoma City.  Our days have been running together and other than the fact that I know tomorrow (technically today) is my birthday, so it’s July 17^th…yeah.  Let’s review through photos together, shall we?

First off, I would like to apologize for a lack of family photos in Evansville.  I know Andrew’s Aunt Kitsy took several photos of all of us and I will request those from her to add to a later post I will someday do that will be all the pictures that could have been added from before…but weren’t. 

Betty Matthews (Andrew's Grandmother) working on the sculpture that is now finished and up at the cabin.  The artistic streak that runs through this family is simply amazing. 

I made lasagna.  I must say that I was incredibly pleased with this end result AND I could eat it.  Gluten free noodles and the majority of the ingredients came from the health food shop Andrew's cousin works at.  Very nice little place.  Stocked up on my favorite Doc. Bronner's Coconut oil while we were there.  I don't know what we would do without that stuff.  So good for everything! 

Family picture at a very special place.  Andrew's parents had their wedding reception here and we enjoyed lunch there with Kitsy, Carol and Kitsy's delightful roommate Peggy.  It was quite a good lunch and I loved the stories that were brought up about Nora and Larry's wedding.  A special moment indeed. 

Sometimes I just like the way things look so I have to take pictures of them.  Andrew's vest over my pretty pink dress (borrowed pink dress :) ) made such a neat picture...or maybe it's me photographing our laundry...whatever. 

I enjoy what my travel pile looks like. 

Sunset in Missouri on our way to our campsite in Arkansas.

What the camper looks like after setting it up late at night and just being ready to SLEEP. Bit messy but there really is some sort of organization developing here, I swear. 

Rosie enjoying the camper and life in general. 

Not very clear through the screen on the camper but waking up in the morning this is what we were able to look out the window and see.  Trees and a lake.  Not a bad morning view at all.  One thing that I think we have given up is any level of boundaries between the outside world and us.  For this example I mean we will sleep in the camper with the windows wide open, more or less, so anyone can peek in and see our sleeping family.  Like a traveling exhibit or something...

Beaver Lake has a nostalgia quality for me that made this photo necessary.  

Photo as we are walking to the bathroom. This part of the country is beautiful but hot, hot, hot...Can't believe I used to live in this area and somehow had forgotten how beautiful it was. 

Trail mix for in the car keeps us filled with good energy sources.  This does not meant that I don't (frequently) give in to my urge for kettle cooked potato chips.  I am improving but they are just so good and my craving for salty things can be a bit out of control sometimes. 

So did we have to make a stop at the Henning Conservation area?  Ummm...yes, we did.  

Renamed the Traci, Rosie, Aydan, Crumpets Henning conservation area.  Hee hee :) 

Scenic overlook photos. 

Bridges are cool.  We had quite the discussion of the engineering marvel that bridges are while crossing this one. 

Our space in the camper is limited...super limited but somehow the way that it's all laid out leaves for a very cozy and yet somehow separate feeling when we need it to.  This was the night Andrew and Aydan played Risk and I curled up on the couch to work on thank you notes for the wedding before falling asleep.  Pulling the camper, putting up the camper and then playing hard on top of it is exhausting...but in a good way.  I know that I feel stronger, more capable, more in control and aware of certain aspects of my life...but that's still a thought in formation so I won't go too deeply into it.  What I can say is that living like this is a lesson in growing physically and mentally.  That was a hope of mine for all of us when we left and I am so pleased to see that development taking place in my son and husband too. 

Traveling exhibit of CUTE!  Rosie loves the sunshine and curling up with her boy.  

Ho hum...another walk to the bathroom picture. 

We loved this campsite.  Loved it.  Trees to keep us somewhat shaded and the lake right there next to us.

Crumpets loves her life. 

Reminders of home.  Cheese stick wrapper on the floor and the rug that Maggie left with us that had been on the floor between the green room and the kitchen in our old house for what seems like ages. Little things like this help me to feel like we haven't given up everything and that there will always be reminders of places and people and things that we love as we move further and further away from them. Bittersweet is the best way I can think of to describe it. 

Good morning Aydan!  Organization in the camper is definitely going to take some work...

You can barely see him but there is a true stick bug hanging out in the corner of the building we were standing under.  These insects fascinate me and I've only ever seen them in the zoo before.  So cool to get to see one without barriers.  The guy working at the welcome booth may have thought we were slightly odd but that's ok :)  Bob, the guy that seemed to take care of the camp and the welcoming of guests to the campground, had been wonderful in making sure we had a campsite when we arrived and had the charm and tobacco stains on his gray and white beard that I (or my imagination fed by stereotypes) associate with older gentlemen living in the Ozark mountains.  

This is the official swimming area of Beaver Lake for the section where we were staying.  We had taken a walk the night before to find it but were unable to really see in the dark so there was a lot of guess work and giggling on top of the small concern (for me anyway) that we would get caught breaking the rule of "no swimming after 10 pm".  Visiting the same area in the daylight was completely different but so so fun.  Andrew thought the dogs might like to try out the lake but they thought no way.  It's hard to tell but Rosie is facing away from the lake, trying to pull Andrew in the direction she wants to go...back to the picnic table with shade and no lake.  

Dinner of yum.  Andrew marinated the chicken the night before and we tossed it on the grill when we got back from swimming.  I don't remember what all we had with it but I do remember how perfect that chicken was.  

Rosie felt this was her place setting. 

The boys and some after dinner whittling/knife safety lessons.  They both seem to enjoy carrying a knife and have definitely learned to respect the possible dangers that come along with carrying a sharp blade.   I would also like to point out the stack of dishes behind the boys.  This was our first site without water.  Andrew decided he was going to figure out how to do the dishes with our supply of water bottles filled from the pump that was across the road and a little up the hill from where we were. 

Andrew making breakfast.  I love this man so much. 

So...yeah...drove by this sign and it was like holy smokes...a closed down, decaying dinosaur park.  We were driving from our campsite to Eureka Springs and Andrew suddenly goes "hey, an elephant...and dinosaurs?" Aydan and I perk up and stare out the windows and sure enough we can see these huge creatures poking up above the trees and they are indeed dinosaurs.  We get up to the gate and this was the sign we saw.  It was HIGHLY tempting to go run around this intriguing place but it was also potentially dangerous and super hot so we decided to continue moving forward with our plans for the day and come back around dusk when we were heading back to the campsite.  Unfortunately, we got turned around on our route back and didn't make it...but, that's life, right? 

And of course we still had to take pictures of Aydan climbing on the giant spider outside the front gate. 

Oh Aydan, don't be mean to the spider...

be nice to the spider! 

A sign pulled us down a twisty turny path to Pivot Rock and the Rock Bridge (as seen in Ripley's believe it or not according to the sign we saw) and this is what we found.  Hmmmhh...not as exciting as expected but still lots of fun to climb on and around and of course, wonder about the way the earth works and moves to create such varied landscapes.  Andrew was completely in love with the rock formations we saw.  Aydan wanted to climb everything which was completely encouraged by both his parents :) Andrew was usually right there with him.  

Climbing down...

This structure is Pivot Rock...as Aydan pointed out it kind of looks like a toilet.  But how cool that the elements came together in such a way as to make a formation like this one?  

Aydan leaping between two rocks. Andrew was taking pictures of him doing this and I'm fairly certain there is a youtube video that was put together from those pictures...I'll have to check into that. 

Hee hee.  Aydan taking pictures of me...

taking a picture of him.  

Lunch was here.  Everything came from farms around the area.  Hooray!  I love it when places can do that.  The food was quite tasty.  Aydan tried a strawberry lavender soup, it was not cold and not hot so it was more like a soupy strawberry milkshake with hints of lavender.  Yum.  But a spoonful or two was certainly enough for me. 

Aydan with glasses over his goggles.  This kid makes me lol all the time. 

Pretty new hand fan! Made out of sandalwood so it smells wonderful every time it is used.

The mortar and pestle were bought at the little store at Pivot Rock.  They are made out of onyx and are gorgeous.  Andrew and I have been looking for one in the kitchen for ages and this seemed to be the ideal time and place to buy one.  Part of our day had been a tour of Cosmic Cave which had lots and lots of onyx so we were able to see its natural habitat, if you will.  I did not take pictures in the cave.  Too much to look at and I like to have my hands free when we are walking on slippery rock around delicate formations that have taken decades to grow a mere inch or so.  Andrew has pictures that I'm hoping he will share at some point too.  

A fairly homey set up. 

Oh my gosh.  The sadness my heart felt when this mug broke is just silly.  But I love this mug!  Maggie gave me this mug for my birthday last year and I brought it with me in the camper because it was one of my very favorites and I wanted it with me...and then this happened...

Ron Swanson, I am so sorry...

See ya, Arkansas.  Thank you for a lovely, lovely time. 

notes from the time this photo was taken: 

One last photo as we sit here, ready to go once the bladder emptying ritual is finished.  We are ready.  Our time in Arkansas has been highly enjoyable, frustrating, hot and romp-tastic.  There is dried clay on the bottom of my skirt from a cave we visited yesterday and an ache through my body from the exertion of putting down the camper in the heat with no shade and no wind but I am content.  My body is strong enough and capable enough to do those things with my family and have a wonderful time doing it.  We are learning about ourselves and each other and that was such a big part of this journey.  To hear my nearly 13 year old son say things like "we're an awesome family" makes this mother and wife so so so happy. - Written in the car July 16, 10:48 am

Things that I see that make me think of people back home...

Onyx coffee lab.  This place totally soothed my coffee lovin' soul.  I knew I couldn't be disappointed in coffee that comes from a place that roasts on site.  

Aydan happy to be chilling in a coffee shop with wi-fi even for a minute :) 

Another ode to Lush.  I am a girl that loves to take care of her skin and I LOVE that I can do that without water!  These three things and some exfoliating cotton rounds help me to keep my skin clean no matter where we are or what our water supply is.  Thank you thank you to my sweeties Megan and Bridgette Cooper for sharing Lush gifts with me before we left. 

The map said one minute...and that turned into nearly a half hour of trying to figure out where the camp really was because google maps was slightly off.  

Another in the camper shot...I just liked the angle...

Andrew looking happy and comfortable.  I love it. 

So that was our journey from Evansville Indiana to Oklahoma.  It's been nearly a month since all those things happened.  Doesn't seem like it.  I was trying to think of why I titled the piece the way I did but then through writing I found it.  We are saying good bye, to a familiar life, to our dearly loved friends and family, but we are also shouting hello to the new life we are ready to have.  I see no darkness in the life we are taking on.  I am sad but exhilarated by the newness and opportunities I can feel opening up for us.  Andrew and I are a magical, positive thinking couple (Aydan is a force of awesome all his own and adds to us in so many ways!) and we know how to deal with the lowest of lows that life has to offer us and how to work our way through it.  Life can do what it wants but we have plans and ideas that I feel are just on the tipping point of becoming reality.  While this trip has been adventurous I feel our greatest adventures are still waiting to unfold.  I'll keep y'all posted :)