To the best of my recollection and ability...

Once again life has done what I should just expect it to do - balance something horrible with something better than I could have ever hoped for. Did I do enough whining about how horrendous this pregnancy was?  Well, for every sleepless night, for every puke filled bowl, for every day I could barely walk for the pain that seemed to dominate the majority of my body, for all of that and so much more, the child that we were given is simply one of the most beautiful, sweetest babies I think I have ever met.  Biased? Sure.  What parent isn't? But I'm also fairly certain that this might be a statement anyone who spends a little bit of time with Arthur would be hard pressed to argue with.

We've been asked for the birth story a few times by different people and I feel the need/want to record part of it in our blog, partly for me and partly for those who are curious about the details.

For those of you that may not know, we were scheduled to be induced August 21, a week sooner than our official due date.  Our doctor felt, considering my medical history, it would be best to have me under medical supervision from beginning to end,  No arguments from me on that one.  I like to have things planned out, even the unpredictability of delivering a baby, and I felt so much safer knowing that Arthur and I would be monitored thoroughly throughout the birthing process.  We had been given the all clear for having a vaginal delivery but there was still a heightened sense of vigilance because of all the things I had been through and how they could resurface again in the face of the stress my body would be undertaking.

Despite all the things we could be worried about, Andrew and I didn't feel worried.  We felt calm, prepared, READY!  We agreed that there was no way of telling what life was going to be like after this little guy arrived.  Even though every ultrasound we had showed Arthur to be perfectly healthy, there is always the chance that something won't be right and won't be known until after delivery.  But we knew, no matter what, we could handle it.  So, at our 7:30 am check in, we were our normal selves - charming and joking around with the lady checking us in as well as our nurses when we were taken to our room.

And here's where a month wait blurs things because I can't seem to remember all the steps we went through to urge little Arthur out.  I know I had my IV started shortly after we arrived - that's always fun.  I'm pretty sure one was just liquids to keep me hydrated and the other one was Pitocin - a form of oxytocin that can stimulate contractions.  We hung with that for a while - contractions had started but they were extremely mild -  and in the early afternoon they broke my water...which was gross... but necessary as we were looking to help push labor along.  The next thing was the epidural.  The pain was getting to a point where this felt like the next logical step.  Epidurals are not comfortable to get but I have to say, for me, it was totally worth it.  When I had Aydan he was ready and out so fast that I never needed anything adjusted in my pain medication but Arthur was proving to be a bit too cozy and maybe just a little stubborn.  Don't know where he would get that from...

It turned out that Arthur was laying the wrong way.  Babies are born face down and Arthur was laying face up which meant that the back of his head was pressing uncomfortably on the nerves in my lower back.  When I say uncomfortably, what I really mean is horrifically painfully.  The epidural was adjusted but I was still crying and biting my lip in pain.  The nurses tried several things to get Arthur to twist back to where he should be.  First we tried laying on one side and then the other, when that didn't really do much they added what they called "Mr. Peanut" - think two medium sized exercise balls stuck together.  Mr. Peanut was put between my legs and I was again moved from side to side.  Still no relief.  There were other things that were tried but finally, maybe around 1 am, the epidural was at a level that the pain was under control and I was able to fall asleep for the majority of the night.

Obviously, my hope that we would be in and delivered the same day had come to an end.  The next morning we had finally moved from 5 cm dilated to 8 cm but it wasn't until close to 9 am that it became obvious that it was time to push.  This was of course the perfect time for my nausea to hit full force.  I spent the first hour or so of my active labor vomiting to the point of exhaustion.  There were concerns that I wouldn't be able to do what I needed to do added to the already present concern that Arthur's heart rate was dropping too low during contractions.  I know the medical team we had was on edge, and maybe Andrew as well, but I told them I needed a break and despite the worried looks that crossed everyone's faces, I put my head back and fell asleep.  The nap took maybe 15 minutes, maybe less, but it was enough for me to wake up recharged and full of determination to get Arthur OUT.  My nurses were amazing cheerleaders, Andrew stood by my side through the whole thing, and with a final, pressure filled push, little Arthur was finally out and up on my chest.

And he was perfect.  What I remember the most was feeling joy bubble up out of me in the form of laughter that I just couldn't hold back - each time I laughed, Arthur's crying would pause and he would roll his little eyes up to look at me and I knew he knew that sound well.  Andrew cried, held us and kissed us both and even cut the chord when it was time.  So many things could have gone wrong and the fact that we were now holding the tiny life we had waited so long to meet was an incredible moment for both of us.

The first phone call we made was, of course, to Nora and Aydan.  I knew they were pretty anxious to meet him as well.  It didn't take long for the two of them to reach the hospital and for introductions to be made.  We knew that Nora would be completely enamored of her tiny grandson but I know I was still waiting to see how Aydan would react.  It was, and still is, my opinion that Aydan was going to enjoy being a big brother more than he realized and, so far, I have been right.  I always knew that Aydan would be an amazing big brother, although I never really thought I was going to find out for sure.  Yet here we are, with a little tiny guy in the house and this big, nearly man like guy doing a superb job of looking after him.

I cannot express how right this feels.  And how surreal.  I didn't think I would ever be married and now I am married and still totally in love with my husband.  He is the best partner I could ever ask for.  I never thought I would have another child but now I am the mother of two beautiful sons.  Being a stay at home mom was never something I thought I would get, or want, to do, but each day I am grateful that I am taking care of our family in a way that keeps us happy and healthy.  This path I am currently on is one I don't think I ever would have seen for myself but I am deeply in love with my life.  Even on the worst days, I feel that I walk through my life in a haze of happiness and a smile never far from my lips.  The best part is the realization that we are still just at the beginning of this adventure, that we have so many days to look forward to and whatever we do, we are going to be ok because we have each other.  

Bundled up and held close.  Andrew just started getting adjusted to life as father to a teen, now he is a dad in a whole new way. 

First time held by big bro Aydan - heart melting!  I have a feeling this is the start of a super special relationship. 

View from my bed to see my sweet, sweet husband completely entranced by our tiny son.  It is certainly something to behold, a child so freshly brought into this world, a combination of two people who continue to be deeply in love with each other and their family.  We are so lucky. 

First bath!  This kid was born with a crazy amount of hair.

Arthur calms quickly was he's placed on the warm towels under the heating lamp.  Much better. 

See, that's not so bad...

Let's get a little closer to that tiny, sweet face.  

Umm...possibly the cutest photo of a newborn?  He even looks like he's smiling, all bundled up in his elephant swaddling blanket with a cute little hat on his head.  Cute, cute, cute.  You know, if I do say so myself.

I can't even express how much I love this picture.  Arthur in his tiny bassinet while Andrew takes a nap on the couch.  If I remember correctly, we were waiting to be able to check out.  

Safely bundled up for our drive home. 

These two are going to be awesome together and already are.  I love how Aydan loves his little brother.  Age gaps this far apart are not excessively common but I think this worked out perfectly.  They are both at such different places in their lives and require such different levels of attention and care.  We are learning how to work things out with a newborn, but so far so good. 

Have I mentioned how much I looooove this man?  Love him.  And if it were possible, I fell even more in love with him seeing him hold our baby. 

I think that is about it for me for the moment.  There are so many more photos and I will...maybe...get to adding those in the future but for now I have been working on this post off and on for weeks and I just want it wrapped up and out there.  I keep telling myself that I'll get caught up but life keeps happening and I don't always have the energy I need to do the things I want to do when I'm thinking of them.  Today though, everything has worked out and now, it's time to post.   

Three...two...one...

The last year or two seems to have been filled with countdowns for our family.  The countdown to Andrew's and my wedding, the countdown to our departure from Fort Wayne, the countdown of our move from Washington to Oregon and the most recent countdown to the day Arthur arrives.  Three.  Days.  Left.  That's it.  We have three days until we go to the hospital and they set me up with all the drugs and surveillance needed for a healthy delivery.

I am excessively grateful to modern medicine and well trained doctors who have thoroughly gone over my medical records and are being extra cautious and vigilant when it comes to this delivery.  I am already considered high risk because of my age (really? 36 is high risk?)  but more so because of my past and current health conditions.  The cardio myopathy from two years ago was of serious concern but my last echocardiogram done in February shows that my heart is right where it should be...although, there is still a slight chance that things won't stay that way during delivery...which is one of the main reasons why we are being induced and carefully monitored.  I'm completely OK with this decision.  I am DONE with being pregnant.  Done, done, done.  I have been sick, sore, and now I feel as though I have a tiny human being growing in the middle section of my body which makes EVERYTHING uncomfortable - sitting, standing, lying down, walking.  I am aching for comfort in the form of a smaller mid-section and to begin working with a physical therapist to get my body back to somewhat normal.  It won't ever be "normal" again because of the MS but I will at least be able to get back on my medications again within a short period of time after Arthur's birth.

I'm torn in half between dreading daily injections again and being overjoyed to be back on my disease modifying drugs.  I do have an appointment coming up in early September with THE MS specialist in Bend.  I am THRILLED to have gotten an appointment with her.  While we were in Fort Wayne I had a neurologist and he was...ok.  But he wasn't a specialist and I didn't feel as though he was really working to dig in and find out what options would be best for me or had any specific knowledge regarding MS.  In Seattle I was really impressed with the doctor we started working with and the amazing MS center available but it was in downtown Seattle and getting there was a huge pain in the butt.  I did my research before moving to Bend and found the doctor I knew I wanted to work with and have since found out that she really is wonderful.  My interactions with her staff have so far been super positive.  I am looking forward to discussing medication options with her as well as potential exercise/diet options to be aware of.

While I had read that MS symptoms can diminish during pregnancy and, in some cases, the body can somewhat reset itself I have not really had this experience.  The tightness/tingling/numbness that I have experienced in my arms, chest, back of my neck/head, and along my legs...I guess that's pretty much everywhere, huh?...has not been as bad but it is still present and intensifies throughout the day.  My left leg has been more or less numb to the touch for the last several weeks although whether that's associated with the pregnancy or with my MS, I don't really know.  I have decided that if it continues for too long after delivery that I will seek out a steroid treatment to bring down any inflammation that may have occurred during the pregnancy and hopefully help prevent a future flare up.  Our biggest fear comes from the fact that the chance of a flare up post delivery is higher than it would normally be.  Considering how debilitating past flare ups have been for me this is a prospect that leaves me more or less terrified.  How will I take care of a newborn if I can't use my hands, or if I can't walk and what if both go out at the same time?  That has happened before and it could happen again...but those are hypothetical situations that I hope we have prepared for and now it's just one day at a time.

One of my greatest comforts comes from our move to Bend.  We had our baby shower here last weekend and I was incredibly moved by the number of people that showed up to show their support for Nora and our little family.  Some people we were meeting for the very first time and yet they brought us gifts and well wishes and offers of assistance should we need it.  There are others in this group of people that I feel are going to become regulars in our life here. I'm so grateful to have met them and look forward to the getting to know you process that turns acquaintances into friends.  I know that our living with Nora is going to be so helpful for all of us, especially if things do take a turn for the worse.  We are, again, lucky, lucky, lucky.  It never seems to fail that we find ourselves in the right place at the right time with the right people.  I could only be more content if all those that are far away that I love so much could be scooped up and brought here too.  But that is selfish of me and a mere daydream but a sincere wish nonetheless.

We stand at the edge of yet another precipice, hands held and ready to take the leap, and who knows what life is going to look like after Arthur is born.  I know the daydreams I have are rich and filled with love and no matter what happens, I feel that will be the case.  I am so lucky to be married to a husband that goes to the maximum extent he can to take care of our family, to have a son that never ceases to amaze me with his compassion and helpfulness, and a mother in law whose excitement, enthusiasm and willingness to help have been a balm to our little family.  I have no doubt there will be struggles, sleepless nights and many tears but...well...that sounds kind of normal for us anyway.  Only this time there will be a baby involved.  Three more days.  The countdown is nearly complete and another great adventure awaits.

And, just so this is not a totally photo free post, here are a few photos from the baby shower :)

   
There's still July to get caught up on and I'm hoping to get that taken care of between today and Wednesday....right now, I think I need to go eat a cupcake...

Catching up...a little at a time.

Where do I start?  What do I say?  Has it really been nearly TWO months since we arrived in Bend, OR???  And not a peep from me except through Facebook.  Sigh.  My time lately seems to be split between playing, working on projects around the house, or wallowing in pain from this pregnancy.   While I would love to type out a story today, what I really want to do is post a crap ton of pictures and let them be the thousands of words I keep struggling to find.

At least a semblance of order is needed though so let's at least start with June when we first arrived.

Places to walk, kayak, and float abound in our new area and the Deschutes River that rolls through Bend is, as Andrew likes to call it, like the local swimming hole and hosts all these activities.  This is little Rosie saying hello to Tank and his owner David.  

Nora with her kayak.  She keeps it on top of her car all the time for those "just in case" moments.  And she's not alone. The emphasis on recreation around here is astonishing.  On our little street there are at least five RVs, including our little pop up camper, all ready to be used whenever.  You also see kayaks and bikes strapped to people's cars constantly and sometimes fully blown up floaties flapping around on top of peoples cars as they head to the river.  

Rosie on the otter statue by the river. 

I am shocked at how beautiful I find the rather barren and rocky landscape that we live in.  Living in the high desert has taught me that you must ALWAYS carry: water, lip balm, sunscreen and lotion.  It is dry, dry, dry here and the UV index is nearly always high.  One of the first things I purchased for myself was a 24 oz water bottle and I'm pretty sure I fill that thing up anywhere between 4 and 6 times a day.  I have never been this well hydrated in my life. 

I'm so slow! Always walking behind my boys :)  

Otters will always make me think of Megan...along with about a million other things every day. 

One of the things we were encouraged to do by Nora was to make the house feel like home and boy was I chomping at the bit to do so.  My love of pinterest came in handy again when it came time to do some redecorating/re-organizing that would make us all feel more comfortable in our shared space.  While living with an in law, or one's parent as Andrew is doing, there is certainly a level of trepidation - will it work out?  Will we all get along ok?  How will we handle being in each other's space all the time? I would have to say that we are all quite happy with our living situation.  Andrew and I wasted very little time taking Nora up on her offer of making the place feel more like us.  

Before pictures of the living room....

Mounting the TV on the wall was an absolute must for one of the major projects we wanted to get done.  

We put together a shelf system with boards that we picked up from the Restore in Bend.  I painted them and added a pretty trim and then looked at the wall and sighed...I really wish we would have painted the wall first...Thankfully I said that at just the right time and I also married a man who loves me enough to know that I have a need to paint and see projects as close to completion as possible....so....

We took everything down, ran to Lowes, picked out the color and had the wall done in about two hours. 

Andrew set up a barricade to keep the dogs from brushing against the wet paint while we went and had a celebratory dinner: this was the day Andrew found out that he had already landed a job in Bend.  One huge concern DOWN.  We had sushi that night and it was so so good...

And then it was time to get it all back on the walls.  

And this is the most recent photo, taken yesterday, of our all up against the wall entertainment center. I find myself absolutely loving this wall every time I look at it.  The shelves and walls are filled with art from family and friends, photos and knick knacks that define our past and show the different things we love in our life.  We have also been given a few plants that now make the room feel even more alive and vibrant.  We love our little set up :) 

What a cute little town we live in!! :)  The downtown area is so quaint!  There are primarily independently owned shops - restaurants, coffee shops, little boutiques - in the downtown area and somedays it can feel really busy and others can feel like lazy, peaceful days in a small town.  I love it. 

I love this guy too...

And the random displays of sculptures, fountains and art work that are all over the place.  

The end of June was also when we said goodbye to Aydan and let him take off for Fort Wayne for a full month.  We have all agreed since then that a month apart for the three of us is just TOO much.  I find that one of the things in my life that I am so incredibly grateful for is how well our little family gets along and how much we honestly enjoy each other's company.  

Walking through Seattle airport. 

Waiting for his plane to take off...and yes, I did cry and wave goodbye to the plane when it pulled away even though I knew he couldn't see me.  

The trip to the Seattle airport from Bend was kind of a nightmare.  Seven hours in the car, and then a terrible dinner experience, followed by a not so great hotel stay and an incredibly early morning arrival at the airport followed by a seven hour drive back to Bend.  Fourteen hours in the car in a 24 hour period of time is not exactly my cup of tea.  Thankfully, we were able to get Aydan's return flight re-routed to the tiny little Redmond airport that is a short, easy 20 minute drive from Bend and we were right there when he came down the ramp from the plane.  There was more crying when he got home and lots of hugging.  What can I say, I'm a little bit fond of  my kid and it was so good to have him home. 

So...that's at least June...we are sitting at Looney Bean coffee shop at the moment but now we need to be off to support our new friend, Sara, who will be reading from her recently published book at the library down town.  We are so excited for her and excited to already be establishing a new circle of friends.  I'm going to post what I have done so far just so it's done and maybe I'll come back later and get the month of July wrapped up too.  

Love to all!!! 

Heartfelt thanks - Written June 11, 2014

Before we make our move I MUST say something first.  It’s been on my mind for quite some time and I’m afraid that once we leave and I am wrapped up in getting ready for Arthur and all the play time I can handle, I won’t take the time to do this and it does feel important so…here goes. 

Fort Wayne friends, family members and other loved ones far away, THANK YOU!!! For what?  Well, for being there, for being visibly, beautifully YOU.   See, I know that social media gets a good deal of bashing, I’ve admittedly done my fair, but the last six months of my life have taught me a new level of appreciation for my facebook account.  It’s true.  The six months here have been…lonely, quiet, dull.  There have certainly been the bright moments that have helped to keep my sanity running and there have also been days spent in some kind of delirium from the pregnancy illnesses, all jumbled up into days that each seemed to be a repeat of each other so it hasn’t all been terrible.  Toss in the best husband I could possibly ask for and my witty, funny, smart son and it’s really not a bad situation at all.  Just not what I’m used to.  Not at all. 

Without the actual physical presence of the people I love being close to I have been able to get my social fix in other ways.  Megs and I use every possible method available to communicate with each other in the place of being able to be with each other.  The back and forth between us is pretty constant and I expect it to be that way for pretty much forever.  I miss the kids, I miss fried chicken and chocolate chip cookies and laughing so hard I can’t breathe or just being lumps on a couch together while watching absolute crap on television.  I just miss her.  The happiness high I get from a phone call with Megan gives my soul that recharge it needs in a big, big way.  I know how fortunate I am to have her as my best friend. 

For Andrew's and my one year anniversary, our amazing circle of friends did a face time call with us.  What a treat!!! It was nearly enough to make me cry (who am I kidding?  OF COURSE I cried once we were off the phone with everyone! That's just what I do with too much emotion: cry.)  to see so many beloved faces, hear voices and laughter that had been missing for nearly a year, and to be reminded that love can reach us anywhere if we are there to receive it.  Face time has also given us time with other dear friends and sometimes, during those video calls, we even get to follow them around the house while they make silly faces at us (Yes, that's you Lisa and Mike :) ).  It's almost as good as being there...almost. 

Along with phone calls, I also really love the letters, cards and packages we get in the mail.  When I open our mail box and find handwritten notes with little tokens of love inside them, it’s like a long distance hug.  Cheesey? Sure is.  But it’s accurate.  It takes a lot of love to send something out in the mail to another person.  In our current time of quick and easy contacts there isn’t always the same level of thought and consideration that goes into our communication style.  The time it takes to pick out a card, the little doodles added to the envelope, the unique hand writing that belongs to each person.  There is something special and magical about that, like sharing a little piece of yourself that you have sent out in the world that you can’t get back…and that’s totally ok.  I have a beautiful little collection of letters and cards from various people and they are lovingly being tucked away into my memory box.

The daily fix for me comes through Facebook.  I know so many amazing people and I simply love seeing what they are up to.  Pictures and opinions (whether I agree with them or not) and conversations and little glimpses into lives filled with people and places I love, it’s a healing balm. 

When I mix all that communication goodness together, along with a rather staggering consumption of videos, this past six months was MUCH better than it could have been.  Fort Wayne friends, family members, loved ones…keep being social through media!  Or cards and letters and the occasional phone call, heck, if it can happen, come visit!   To all the people that have shared my life, you are LOVED and APPRECIATED!  Thank you. 

June 20, 2014 - We are now in Bend and it's been everything I could hope for.  I'll get a post up on that soon too but for now, I need to get the boys around so we can have time to get ready to head down to the river today.  Haven't quite decided on floating the river or walking along it with the pups...should be pretty great either way :) 

I just can't do it...

I can’t do it.  I just can’t.  My intention has been to sit down and catch up on the family activities of the last couple weekends but my mind isn’t able to sit still in the past when it is actively dancing all over what is happening right now and what will be taking place shortly.  Weekends past, I’m sorry, we will catch up again soon because we must, but for now I need to get this all out of my system so I can move on.  Here goes.

Most everyone by now knows we are heading to Bend, OR and we have given our reasons why and all that jazz.  About two weeks or so ago, we were handed a catalyst that made us reevaluate our leave date.  We were scheduled on June 28,  the day after Aydan left for Fort Wayne but has now been brought up on the calendar to…THIS WEEKEND!!!  There were several reasons that pushed us to make this change but the details don’t really matter.  The decision is made and I, for one, am ready.  SO. READY.

Our stay here has been challenging for me.  While Andrew and Aydan have been able to leave each day and head off to work and school, I have stayed in our little apartment with the dogs and the internet to keep me company.  This is not a way of life I have a lot of familiarity with.  I should perhaps be thankful that for a good portion of that time I was so sick and weak I didn’t want to do anything anyway.   WTF, life?  But I’ve whined about this before and I don’t feel like getting further into it here and now…like I said, living in the present, getting ready for the future.

As things stand now, we leave Saturday morning, June 14.  We had planned on having movers to help us out but now that Aydan will be home, we are going to use his young, strong muscles to help us get everything packed into the moving truck.  Our furniture that we will be taking along with us will be minimal. Mostly things for in Aydan’s room but on our way to Bend we are making a stop at IKEA for new beds and frames for all of us!!! EEEEK!!!  That IS squeal worthy news.  I won’t even share the progression of our sleeping situation since we have moved in here but it hasn’t been exactly comfortable and a bed…oh, a REAL bed.  These things we take for granted but that are really just absolutely delicious luxuries.  I tell myself to be grateful I don’t live in Elizabethan England when people used logs for pillows and were lucky to have straw mats to separate the cold of the floor from their bodies…sometimes that works.  Just five  more days…

Nora has been a whirlwind of activity on her end (not a surprise there!) getting the house ready and last night sent us pictures of her new room.  I love her excitement and enthusiasm for this change…it’s a BIG one, no doubt, but there is such a positive vibe floating around this plan that I am hanging my hopes on the best.  She has already found and purchased a lovely crib and high chair for little man and I found this gorgeous old bentwood rocker on Craigslist for $10 that she picked up for us earlier this week as well.  There will be lots and lots of projects that will involve painting and building and decorating.   My little heart sings with joy at the prospect of productive activity rather than just finding SOMETHING to alleviate the tedium of the day. 

Living in Bend, I have a feeling that boredom will visit me much less often. Nora is a busy lady and even if we do a handful of activities with her that she does, we will manage to have a rather full calendar.  There are friends of Nora’s coming over to help us with the move on Sunday and Andrew and I have plans to hang out with new friends on the Fourth of July.  Our visits to Bend in the past have introduced us to many great people and we are looking forward to seeing how those relationships and new ones develop.  Bend seems to use Meetup quite a bit and I’m thinking that we may need to find a way to create a dinner party group like the one we used to be a part of…it won’t ever be the same but I love the idea of finding and growing a new network of people in an area where I feel it is totally possible. 

Am I sad to leave Seattle?  Not really.  I have learned that I am NOT a city girl.  That I need wide open spaces, minimal traffic, and a strong sense of community.  I had those things developing while we were in Fort Wayne but have found nothing that gives off that same vibe here.   My improved health has allowed us to take trips out and about and look into the various activities that take place here, sadly, despite being open minded and hopeful, we have not clicked with our new area.  We would have found our way eventually, but I’m thankful that it’s now removed from the list of things to worry about. 

So we leave this Saturday.   The rest of the week will be packing, organizing, ditching, and making final drop off of items at goodwill.  I feel like this is another clean slate to get all creative and crazy with.  There will be MUCH happening and I will make sure that everything stays as up to date as I can make it!  

And, I know there are no photos this time...so I thought I would do something special instead.  We were given a short video of little Arthur at our appointment last Friday!  Very exciting!  In case it's difficult to figure it out, this is a side profile of him with his fingers in his open mouth and then he closes his mouth. Isn't technology an amazing thing?  

Hands down: Utah

And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.

William Shakespeare

Oh, Billy, you have such a way with words and an ability to find truth that is simply genius.  I noticed that, for the most part, our 2013 summer trip consisted of adventures outdoors.  Lakes and oceans and rivers and forests and trees and rock formations and caves…we were able to feel and see a little bit of everything.  My appetite has not been completely sated for travel, I doubt it ever will be, but I certainly feel as though I have little notches to add to my belt of beautiful places I have seen.  One of the best places we went over the summer has not received the attention it should have.  In all honesty, the Arches National Park was one of the most breathtaking (physical exertion and scenery induced) places we visited on our journey. 

Our plans took a major shift after our stay in Colorado.  One of our last nights in Colorado Springs we were all sitting in the camper, getting ready to head to bed, and, without warning, the camper took a huge slump forward and down.  One of the jacks in the front had given out completely.  Seeing as that is the main support for raising, lowering and resting the camper on, we were a little concerned.  But, daddy didn’t raise no fool and the thought of jack stands and working on cars with my father came to mind.  I knew they made jack stands that would hold the weight of the camper and would provide the same function as the stands that were built in on the camper in the first place.  That night, Andrew engineered a stand with some things he found in the camper and a few pieces of firewood to keep the camper where it should be and the next day we bought the jack stands. 

When things start to break down, it’s usually a good time to reevaluate what you’re going to be doing next.  The plan from Colorado had been to travel through the southern part of Utah, through Nevada with a stop in Vegas, then on to California where we would have visited with Emily before heading north to San Francisco and a trip to Alcatraz, and finally heading north to be with Nora for a visit in Oregon.  Big plans.  Reality also stepped in and helped us to realize that we were running out of time, finances and energy.  Being on the move daily, setting up and taking down camp every few days, and, for me, the heat of summer was really starting to take its toll.  I guess you could say we needed a break from our vacation.  Wah wah wah.  I’m such a spoiled girl…

The change took us north into Utah and that meant looking for different places to camp and set up and blah blah blah.  Through my usual hunting for places to visit and stay I had already discovered that Utah was crazy beautiful in a carved out of rock kind of way.  The one snag we kept coming across were available camping locations.  We decided we would aim for the Arches National Park, spend some time there and then decide what we would be doing next.

My only regret on this part of the trip was that we didn’t have/make more time for more exploration through this amazing park.  I have never seen land like this before or seen rocks so massive and shaped in such bizarre ways.  I found myself frequently standing and staring at some giant boulder balanced on this thin column of rock and I would be shaking my head, marveling at how nature just DOES things.  I know that we now have a way to know how things happened and how the earth shifts and moves and climate plays a role and all that scientific brilliance that also boggles my brain but for that moment, it was the gorgeousness of nature that held me captivated and science was being told to hush.

If there are words, read it.  That's what we attempt to do as much as possible.  I figure all that information has to be out there for a reason. 

Elephant :) 

From the base of the cavernous area...

to the back and up a ways. 

From me to Aydan. 

From me to Andrew. 

And me...after dashing up to the back of the formation with the dogs. 

Me and Andrew. 

Me and Aydan. 

Look up...

This was the second decent hike of the day we took.  It was an attempt to see Delicate Arch but once we got to this point here, maybe a mile in,...it started raining.  I don't know if you can tell from some of the pictures how dark and thick the clouds were but we knew that we didn't want to be stuck out on a trail if it really started to pour.  We made it back to the car and were all packed up and ready to go before the first heavy rain drops started to fall.  Before we even got back to the main road of the park the sky was nearly black and the wind was pushing against the car with a force we could feel from inside.  This was a moment of our trip here that couldn't be captured with photos.  The quietness inside the car with only the sound of the rain and the engine making noise and those giant rock formations being starkly illuminated under the harsh lightning that came with the storm.  

Sometimes we get to see how primal our world really is.  Sometimes, without street lights, without the radio, without even the sound of our voices, we can see the same scene that has been playing on repeat for thousands of years. This is when I feel like the insignificant intruder that I am.  I am this microscopic speck of nothing, as far as the timing of our universe is concerned, and yet I get to humbly partake in the world around me, a world that reveals and hides and shares and one that I fear and hope for.  I am grateful for this life of mine.  I hope to be worthy of my time here. 

Annnnddd...that wraps that up!  I know that we will be planning trips to go to the places that we missed along the way, LA is definitely towards the top as I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see where my sister in law lives and works and I have a very dear friend that lives there that has offered me a tour of his beyond cool place of employment and I just can't miss out on either of those things.  Plus, I have yet to see Alcatraz, the Winchester Mansion, or the Redwoods.  All west coast destinations and on the get-there list.  

BUT...we will have to wait for a while now until after Arthur is born.  There are many, many plans still unfolding and our little group gets more excited about our move to Bend every day.  Although, for Aydan, it's the trip to Fort Wayne that gets him all kinds of giddy.  Much is happening and I'm sure there will be many more postings and photos to come.