Saturday, May 10, 2014

BIG news!

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for the great.” -  Steve Prefontaine

We're pregnant!!! Oh...no...wait...that announcement has already been made...what was it??? Oh yeah! We're MOVING!  That's what it was!  Some people know about this move and for others, this may be the first time they are hearing about it but...there it is. Moving.  Again.  Sigh.

Two big questions, where and WHY?  Right?  I mean, we JUST got here.  Why would we be taking off again SO soon? Well, I'll tell you.  The where is easy: Bend, OR.  The why part...well, that's far more complicated.  

Where to start...I feel a certain level of trepidation sharing this information.  Andrew, Aydan, Nora, and I have known this was our decision for a moth, maybe two, and we've been keeping it close to the chest mostly because of Andrew's job.  He, sadly, handed in his letter of resignation on Tuesday of this past week which gave me the go ahead to make the full public announcement but...I hesitate.  I fear the head shaking, the "I knew they couldn't do it" that may be the reaction we receive from some people.  This was NOT an easy decision for us, and even though we all KNOW this IS the right decision, it's terribly demoralizing to feel like we "failed" out of Seattle.

But, failed?  Really?  No...that's not the right way to look at it.  And that's what Andrew and I tell each other.  When we made our decision to relocate here we did so with a very long term vision in place.  We realized the sacrifice we were making when we left our incredible circle of friends in Indiana, we knew that the transition would take time and we would need to be patient with ourselves as well as our new environment and we knew that we would need to be determined in order to shape our lives into what we wanted them to be.  Moving here, we were starting from scratch, but we felt ready for the challenge.  All intentions were aimed at being here and making this our home.  For our little family, we knew we could make the best of anything, as long as we were together.  

So what happens when we're together and expanding?  Our long term vision had begun to take on the potentiality of a future addition to our family.  The discussion had been adoption, somewhere WAY in the future and then, over this past summer, turned more toward the desire to actually combine our genes and make a baby.  Andrew and I came to that place where we were welcoming to the idea of a baby.  You know, if it happened, we wouldn't freak out but we both expected the conception part to take time....lots of time.  Six months to a year kind of time.  Naturally, three weeks into living in our new apartment, I was reminded that women in my family tend to lean towards the super fertile and we found out shortly before Christmas that our family would indeed be expanding.  

A baby.  Whoa.  It really felt unreal for a while.  But as the reality started sinking in, the insides of my brain started whizzing through all the things that would and could happen in our lives because of this baby.  Naturally, we started with the doctor's appointments. My MS makes it so that medical attention is something to seek out ASAP.  I had read that women with MS, more often than not. experienced lessened symptoms and minimal flare ups during a pregnancy, which was rather exciting.  The part I didn't read further into was where it was mentioned that women also experience significant INCREASES in flare ups post pregnancy.   There's really no way of knowing what that "significant" increase is, although, with MS, there's never any way of knowing anything about your body on a regular basis.

My last flare up was bad.  Real bad.  Near death twice in one week kind of bad.  My heart had gone all wonky and the damage caused by my flare up left me immobile from the chin down.  The thought of something like that happening again with a newborn in the house is...terrifying.  Once this news had been revealed to us from the neurologist of what could happen, my worry level escalated way past the comfort level.  If I couldn't take care of the baby, then who would?  And while taking care of the baby, I would need to be looked after as well and then there's Aydan to take care of too, even though we all know he would do all he could to be helpful. In our current situation, that leaves...Andrew.  I couldn't bear the thought of all that crashing down on Andrew but I didn't know what to do about it. 

Is anyone going to be surprised that Nora, once again, came to the rescue?  We, of course, had been sharing our concerns with Nora who very clearly remembers what it was like for me in the hospital since she was a dear and flew out to Indiana to be with our family when all that ickiness went down.  Through many discussions a decision was reached and we realized what we needed was a support system.  Specifically, a Nora/Mom/Nonni run support system.  Nora has graciously offered us to set up with her in her house for a while in Bend while we figure things out and who knows, maybe a multi-generational household is in our more long term future? For now, knowing that we will be close to Nora and all the lovely people we have met in Bend already, and the people that she knows that we haven't met yet, offers comfort that I can't even begin to describe.  

I can say in all honesty that I am completely over any level of disappointment I may have experienced when we first came to this decision.  I am sad for Andrew and Aydan. They are giving up more than I am.  But I am thrilled at the thought of what life will be like in Bend.  It's a crazy charming little place, small enough to be comfortable to get around in but large enough to have anything and everything you really need.    The job market isn't as robust as it is around here but we have some ideas and a lot of hope.  Moreover, the sad realization is Andrew and I have both, regrettably, agreed that we aren't city people.  We wanted to fall in love with our new area but it's been difficult to do.  We would have made the best of it and I'm sure at some point we would have found that love that we were looking for but that line of thought is a luxury we can't afford to follow at this time.  

End of June is when everything happens.  Andrew's last day of work is scheduled for June 20th, Aydan flies out to Fort Wayne June 27th,  Andrew and I will schedule movers for the 28th and leave for Bend on the 29th.  In the mean time we plan on getting in as many adventures around here as we can.  There are a few different festivals coming up that we want to attend and different Seattle landmarks we want to wander around, and we have a zoo pass that we need to feel we used because it was such a thoughtful gift from wonderful people in...Bend!  


Isn't life strange and wonderful? Here is yet ANOTHER unforeseen situation where life is throwing us a curve ball, and a sneer, "Let's see what you got".  Well, Life, I have faith, hope, LOVE and a desire to live the heck out of my short existence.  I do not regret where we have come from, our time here, or where we are going.  I am truly blessed in this life with so many amazing gifts and so much love that I feel like pretty much anything is possible, even if it looks nothing like I thought it would.   

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