We found out about the pregnancy shortly before Christmas and since then there has been an onslaught of sick and no energy that has ravaged my physical well being and severely dragged down my mental state as well. During that time I did what I always do, I attempted to find a distraction. When you live hundreds of miles from your beloved friend group and you are more or less confined to your tiny apartment finding a distraction has its limitations. I am grateful to the internet, my husband, my son, my dogs and the occasional outing that gets me away from home. I am also SO grateful for the cards and notes that come in the mail and the phone calls from friends (when I feel up to it!), messages on Facebook, and text messages that keep me feeling in the loop and loved even from so far away.
The internet has provided me the distraction I used to find in books or school assignments. While I have viewed my fair share of mindless television programs and sub-par movies I have also consumed a vast number of documentaries which I think is still my favorite viewing option. While I love a good book, it's so hard to focus on words when I'm not feeling my best. Since I've been feeling better I have taken the time to run to the library and grab a stack of books on one of my new favorite topics. Primarily, England from the late 1400's (the beginning reign of King Henry VII) through the reign of Queen Victoria, which ended in the late 1800's. I have always been fascinated by anything historical but my interests have primarily been in all things Egyptian, Greek, or Roman. But now...
This is the stack of books I grabbed from the library. I don't know why I can't reasonably grab just one or why I feel like I am carrying an arm full of treasure when I walk out of the library with a stash like this one. I have only been able to get through two and a half of these books at this time. I find it incredibly difficult to read books that I can't cover in my own observations. It makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. My solution has been post it notes...but it's not nearly as satisfying.
Thankfully there are all kinds of specials offered through YouTube that share all kinds of things I didn't know about before. My personal favorite historian at the moment is Lucy Worsley. She's just so darn cute and I love the topics she covers. The history of the home: how the kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom all evolved into the rooms we inhabit today. Or, one of my favorites, is Housewives, Harlots and Heroines. She talks about the life of women in the 1660's in Britain and covers social hierarchy from the housewife to the Queen along with the many mistresses of King Charles II. The more of these shows I watch the more I long to be one of those Historians granted access to special documents, manuscripts, books that are only allowed to be touched while wearing white gloves. I want to romp through castles and palaces and share it with my family. I want to sit down with a hot cup of tea and read over things that fill my head with questions and wonder and I want to find the people to share these questions and wonder with. We shall see what happens with these desires but the gears are turning for sure...
This is Lucy Worsley, my current role model, and she's wearing a scarf I USED to own!!! This, and her love of super cute coats and cardigans, tells me I must meet her one day. I must get her novels...
So besides a ridiculous fascination with the British monarchy I also thoroughly enjoyed all the farm shows that cover various time periods. So the Elizabethan Farm, the Victorian Farm, Wartime Farm...oh and the one that strayed from the farm to talk about the Victorian Pharmacy was also pretty darn cool. Yep...I'm a bit of a geek for this kind of stuff...
The other daily distraction is taking care of the dogs. We have been here since November which is more or less winter and I have to say, this is the most active I have been during a winter since I was a kid. I am probably even more so because I have yet to wear the burdensome layers necessary to play out in the cold in the majority of the other places I have lived in. I do not enjoy the cold. Snow is pretty for looking at and for forming into a ball to throw at people and that's about it. This winter I have walked outside nearly every day. The dogs and I both need the exercise and a break from being inside. We take our loops around the apartment complex up to three times a day, in total about an hour a day of walking. I am SO thankful for these walks even if I do grumble at the dogs about having to get up and get on my poncho/walking snuggy, boots and hat before I can get them on their leashes and get them out for a walk. The three of us get better at it all the time though and the benefits for all of us in undeniable. The dogs stay healthy and happy looking and I don't feel so bad that most of my day is spent doing very little.
This is Rosie's chair. High or low, it is where you can find her 80% of the time. If she is NOT on the chair she is scheming ways to BE in the chair.
I really just love these two dogs. My life, right now, would be pretty lonely without them. I would be fine, of course, if they weren't here but I am better off because they are. The two of them make me laugh and offer me snuggles and love throughout the day.
The highlight of each day is when the guys get home. Aydan comes through the door a little after three each day and tells me what his day has been like. He's been bounced around quite a bit this year and has handled it with a level of balance and perspective that just blows me away. I realize EVERY DAY how amazing my son is. I mean really. He's like...well...the best. Being 13 I'm sure there are those topics that can generally become weird and strained in the parent/child relationship but so far...we are doing great. Aydan becomes more and more the young man I knew he would become all the time. His interests are developing as is his confidence and he has yet to go all tool bag on us. Instead of this being a time in life that could be pulling us apart, I feel my relationship with Aydan is stronger and better all the time. I love being a parent.
Aydan with the fox at the Zoo. We were given a year long zoo pass to the zoo in Seattle by friends of ours in Bend. What a nice thing to do!!! We have only gone once but I have a feeling we will be going a few more times for sure!
This is one of the new things that Aydan has developed a strong interest in - long boarding. And if he can get Crumpets to pull him around while he does the macarena, it's a bonus.
And then there's Andrew. Oh my goodness. I really don't know what kinds of twists and turns life had to take to bring us together but, gosh darn it, I am thankful for each and every one of them. I have a PARTNER. He has been incredible through out every challenge I have faced since before we were married. Maybe that's why it was so easy to say yes when he proposed :) Andrew has shouldered SO much since we've moved here. So many responsibilities that I feel I should have been able to help with but haven't been able to and he's done it without complaint. When I feel bad for whatever thing it is I feel bad for at the moment he gently steps in and reminds me of how much he loves me, he loves Aydan and how taking care of us isn't a problem, it's part of life. I love that he will come home after I have felt like puke and been puking and will still kiss me on the forehead and tell me I'm beautiful or that after a day with Lucy Worsley I can ramble on and on to him about all these strange little details I've learned and he ENJOYS it. Sigh. I shake my head continuously over the love I have for my husband and not just love but being IN LOVE, feeling my heart lift when he comes home, feeling the comfort of being held by him, the support that everything will be ok and that as long as the three of us are together, we got this messy thing called life...gifts without compare.
Not as successful with getting Rosie to pull as Aydan was with Crumpets. No one was all that surprised.
Family life is just terrible...and blurry :)
I really like this picture of Andrew. One of our walks at Richmond Beach park.
Have I mentioned how geeked I get when there are little goodies for me in the mail? The scarf was a lovely gift from dear Lisa.
Along with these really sweet, handmade magnets. Yay! More fridge art!
And then you get awesome little cards like this one from sweet little Agatha. I miss that little girl SO much! Not to mention her mother who is the kind of woman who encourages her little ones to hand write notes to people. That is a good habit to pass along. You are a brilliant mother, dear Megan :)
Again with Lisa sending things that fill me with glee! Pretty stationery and a Doctor Who bookmark! I am really a geek over only one show and it's Doctor Who. I may or may not be looking for a plush TARDIS for Arthur. He needs one, right?
Megan knows and loves me so well. Part of her christmas gift this year was this awesome "Everything is gonna be ok" journal, which happens to be the mantra Megan and I have shared between us for nearly a decade now. Naturally, I got more than a little happy over this giant quote from an author that means so much to Megan and I. Love and miss that woman SO much.
And...that's life, in a nut shell, as it has been over the last few months. Once again I find myself in a situation I had not been expecting and I feel that the ups and downs have been handled as successfully as possible. There are always going to be challenges. It can't be helped. What can be changed is how I handle the things that happen and I know, that given time and love, I will always give it my best.
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